The act of forgiveness.

Forgiveness sets you free. Free from anger and bitterness that is keeping you from living a fuller life. You can not live life to the fullest if you are weighed down by anger! Forgiveness stops the control that others have on you and your deep inner thoughts. It is a lot of work to be angry. When you realize that this person no longer can control you, and your thoughts because you are angry, this is where freedom comes. Forgiveness is where the saying “Don’t let people get the best of you”, comes into play. Think about it. 

When you are angry at someone for what ever reason, you keep playing in your head what they did. This anger is unproductive, and is weight you down. 

You cannot control what other people do, but you can control how you react. Do not be weighed down by grudges. You don’t carry a burden that is not mean for you to carry. You are not responsible for others actions, so don’t start taking responsibility for what they do. . You do not need to waste your time being angry and seeking revenge. This accomplishes nothing, and is a complete waste of time, while you could be doing something better. 

Do not let the offence happen again, and don’t be quick to trust people. People are not perfect, and people are in fact going to hurt you. We are all human. We are selfish in our innate self. When we are angry we are using our primitive brain, not or evolved brain, which is higher functioning. We are better than this, and capable of more. 

 Have boundaries with people and be assertive. Assertiveness is standing up for your existence. Don’t apologize for being you. Do not let people walk all over you. Don’t take things to personally. 

Set yourself free. Forgive those who have hurt you. Learn, and move on. Use every bad experience to learn from. Think about ways to apply boundaries to not let the offence happen again. Do not let the chains of anger hold you down, and move on to the next best thing. There is higher ground to be climbed in life, than this! 

We can constantly improve. Do not let anger from past offenses keep you back. Forgiveness takes a huge weight off your shoulders. Do not give too much of yourself for people to hurt. You are worth more than this and can do better! There is always room for improvement, and there is always lessons to be learned! 

Don’t try to be perfect…

This leads to depression, and possibly giving up. With practice you will get better, and remember no one is perfect.

You don’t have to be perfect in order to achieve. Always be true to yourself, and be your best “you”.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

― Howard Thurman

 

“The world needs who you were made to be”. Not a “fake you”, worried about being perfect or changing yourself because you are preoccupied with what others think of you. This doesn’t not matter and remember this quote:

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

― Bernard M. Baruch

Does it matter what people think? Especially if it is negative? Never alter yourself for other people. Have boundaries and live your life to the fullest and be the best “you”. Do your best and forget the rest.

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Reflecting on the past decade, how much have I changed?

A decade ago I was 27 years old. I had a 4 year old and a 2 year old. I was a living a sweet life as a stay at home Mom, and a housewife. I spent my days spending all my time with my family. I would take my babies to the zoo, children’s museum, the park, the library, you name it. I was immensely blessed to be able to do this. They had plenty opportunity to develop and learn. I read to them at night. I miss this. I would work out 5 days a week, eat healthy, and was in tip top shape. Now I do not have time for this!

Now I have a soon to be 14 year old, and an 11 year old. I am working full time, in assisted living as a caregiver. I’m almost done with debt consolidation.

I am learning how to raise a preteen and a teenager, (daughters’). They are very intelligent and strong willed. They need to have a lot of freedom and choice, and keep busy. They are just like me.
This decade, by being a working Mom, and especially as a caregiver, I have grown so much.

I have learned to be more assertive, and not let people walk all over me. My social skills have defiantly improved. I have learned a lot about life by taking care of other people when they are in their last moments of life. I have learned how to deal with grief as well.
I have learned as a working Mom, how to detach from my job, and spend time with my kids. This is not easy. I have learned how to balance married, kids, and work.

I have learned how to take care of my health. I am around sick people all the time! I learned to eat healthy, exercise, and take supplements. I’ve had pneumonia twice since I have been a caregiver. I am sure my immune system is super strong, because I am around sick people constantly. At work, and sometimes my kids bring home sickness as well.

I have learned how to better manager my asthma by exercise like jogging, hiking and swimming to keep my lungs strong, and to remember to take my inhaler before exercise.

I have grown in my marriage. I now understand my husband, who he is and why he does what he does. I can predict what he will say and do usually. We’ve been together for a long time. We know how to communicate and work our problems out.

I have grown in my walk with God. He has seen me through a lot, and has been there for me when I didn’t expect it. He has always provided for me when I didn’t expect His providence.

I have learned how to budget, and not to apply for 10 credit cards and use them all to the max limit. I learned that lesson the hard way! I learned how to frugally shop for clothes and food. I have realized I really need to save for retirement.

I have learned how to manage anxiety and depression. I learned to relax and breathe, and to tell myself that I am OK when I’m having a panic attack. I have learned to get outside in the sun and exercise, and seek social interaction with positive people when I am down, and how to utilize mental help through my health care provider.

I have learned a lot of maintaining cars. Oil changes, alignment, fluid levels, snow tires, and so on.

I am still living in the same house, which was my Grandmother’s house. I am still married to the same man, on Valentines Day, we will be together for 17 years.

I have learned a lot about people, that we all are a lot alike, and go through the same things. I am more open, and not shy, with the right people that is.
I’ve learned to recognize manipulation, and so on.

I am getting older and wiser. I have white hairs now to prove this, as I reach my 40’s. My back hurts bad sometimes as well!!!! 😀

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Do not let others negativity bring you down.

Don’t let other people’s negative attitude or mean words get to you. It is just their perspective. Do not feed into others negativity, and let it consume your thoughts. Do not let what others say to you or about you effect you. This is petty, and not worth your thoughts or time.

Life is too short for that, and you will be happier and more productive, if you keep looking on the bright side.

Go about your day without their negativity, and if you can help them, do so.

Cheers, and Happy Holidays!

Rest and relaxation.

When you have time off from this hectic, fast paced world, make sure you take time to give your body soul and mind rest. Take on day of the week to just relax. This way you can be ready to take on whatever comes next. You will be more productive, and balanced if you rest. Make sure you listen to your body. Do not feel like you are being lazy or ashamed of taking a rest day. Clear your mind and rest your body.

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Choose to have a positive attitude.

Choose to have a positive attitude today!

You choose your attitude everyday. When bad things happen you can focus on the negative, or you can decide what actions to take to solve the problem. Look on the bright side, and look for the good no matter what! You will be more productive this way.

Don’t feed into and let others negativity influence you. Remember this and you will be more productive and lead a happier life!

Cheers.

Peace, and love!

Some more inspiriting quotes:

“Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.” Benjamin Disraeli

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” Epictetus

 

Lessons in gratitude. Change your mindset…

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When I find myself complaining I rephrase things like this:

  • I have to go to work. Let me rephrase that. I get to go to work. I have a job to feed my family with. I am not unemployed.
  • I have to get up early and take my kids to school. Translation: My kids live in a country where every kid has access to education. My kids know how to read, write, do math, and science, and so on.
  • I’m gaining weight. Let’s turn that around. I have food to eat, and can choose to have self discipline to eat well and exercise.
  • I have to get up too early. Translation: I am living another day, I can make it a good one, and have a positive attitude.
  • I’m sick, I have cold, and flu. Change the thought process to: I am healthy I just caught a bug, it will go away.
  • I have a flat tire, or need my car worked on. Translation: I have a car, I have transportation. I can always fix my car.
  • The energy bill is too high. I have heat in my house, and warm water. I have a job to pay for this heat. My kids will never sleep in a cold house.
  • My body is in pain: I can still use my body, walk, run, and exercise. I can always stretch and get a massage.
  • I have a tooth ache: I have access to dental care.

Be constructive with your complaints, and see what you can do about it, and always look on the bright side. This is a way to rewire your brain to choose positive thoughts, and helps prevent depression!

Cheers to a happier life!

Never give up on your dreams!

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Whatever fills your heart with joy,

Whatever speaks to soul,

Whatever motivates you,

Whatever makes you happy,

do that!

Don’t expect to be perfect and there will always be bumps in the road, but you will never know what you can achieve unless you try. Don’t let little obstacles make you quite. Have faith and confidence in yourself and shine!

You only live once. You never know what is on the other side of the rainbow. 

Never give up on your dreams! You are worth it! 

You never know what you can achieve unless you try! 

Keep pushing forward. 

A little momentum is better than no momentum. 

It may be hard, but do not give up on yourself, and your dreams. 

 “Oh, the Places Youll Go!” ~ Dr Seuss 

No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent… ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

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This quote is very freeing, because I let others intimate me and I feel belittle by others sometimes. If I meditate on this quote I believe I will grow. This is something I need to remind myself, as I work on self esteem and self worth. I let others make me feel inferior. Imagine how beneficial it would be to take this quote to heart and practice it!

Forgiveness

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I seriously struggle with this. I think it is my pride, and fear of being hurt, or my loved ones being hurt.

I think this is weak of me. I think I would be better off if I would forgive. I wouldn’t be as angry, and would have less depression. Sometimes I think to myself “Some things don’t deserve forgiveness”.

However, if you look deeper, you realize that by harboring a grudge you are being brought down.

Just try to forgive but do not be hurt again, and look out for yourself and others. Don’t expect certain things out of some people, and remember that you cannot control others but you can control your own actions, thoughts and feelings.

I know that anger and grudges are bringing me down, I could do better, and not be slowed down by these things.

I would be a lot free it I let the grudges go that inhibit my peace…