God uses the broken.

“Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners–of whom I am the worst”. ~ 1 Tim 1:15

Apostle Paul was broken and God used him in amazing ways to spread the gospel. He wrote many books in the New Testament.

God does not need you to be perfect to serve Him. He came to seek the lost. Do not think you need to have it together to serve God. In our weakness he is strong.

Apostle Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:9-11 “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

God uses brokenness. Rely on Him, because God uses broken people. 1 Corinthians 1:28-29  But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly and despised things of the world, and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast in His presence.

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Find rest in Him.

Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jesus yoke is easy and his burden is light. Don’t put expectations on yourself that God doesn’t have for you. Do not let other peoples expectations define you.

Do not try to be a people pleaser, or worry about what other people think. Usually people are thinking about themselves, and how they look to others.

  • Do not worry about things, it is not productive. Do not sit there and worry, rather come up with solutions to the problems that you are worrying about.
  • Remember there is a lot of things that we worry about, that never even happen.

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Bible Scriptures for New Years.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come_ The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5_17.jpg

2 Corinthians 5:17

 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17

Jesus can renew us from the inside. He gives us new, abundant life, and a fresh start.

Jesus has the power to make us new, and change us.

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“Behold I am making all things new”. Revelation 21:5

Jesus has the power to create everything new. He is going to set up a new heaven and earth as His kingdom. God is the creator. One day we will be made perfect like Him.

See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.

God has the power to take you out of the wasteland and renew your life.

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Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness Isaiah 43:18-19 

This scripture is about when God took his people out of oppression, when the Israelites were slaves. God has much better things in store for us. If he can deliver the Israelites from slavery, he can deliver us from our past and we can let go of the past and move on.

Create in me a clean heart, O God- and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51_10

“Create in me a clean heart, oh God; and renew a right spirit within me. Psalm 51:10.

God has the power to cleanse us, and clear our hearts and minds to start new.

This is a sermon from my church for the New Year you can watch it here. Holiday Hang over: The best is yet to come. It is awesome and encouraging.

May God bless you this New Year. I am excited for what God has in store for us this New Year, and years to come. Also He is there when we are going through a rough patch. He is there in our depression, grief, sadness, hurt, emptiness and loneliness.

For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5–6

“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” MATTHEW 28:20

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Reflecting on the past decade, how much have I changed?

A decade ago I was 27 years old. I had a 4 year old and a 2 year old. I was a living a sweet life as a stay at home Mom, and a housewife. I spent my days spending all my time with my family. I would take my babies to the zoo, children’s museum, the park, the library, you name it. I was immensely blessed to be able to do this. They had plenty opportunity to develop and learn. I read to them at night. I miss this. I would work out 5 days a week, eat healthy, and was in tip top shape. Now I do not have time for this!

Now I have a soon to be 14 year old, and an 11 year old. I am working full time, in assisted living as a caregiver. I’m almost done with debt consolidation.

I am learning how to raise a preteen and a teenager, (daughters’). They are very intelligent and strong willed. They need to have a lot of freedom and choice, and keep busy. They are just like me.
This decade, by being a working Mom, and especially as a caregiver, I have grown so much.

I have learned to be more assertive, and not let people walk all over me. My social skills have defiantly improved. I have learned a lot about life by taking care of other people when they are in their last moments of life. I have learned how to deal with grief as well.
I have learned as a working Mom, how to detach from my job, and spend time with my kids. This is not easy. I have learned how to balance married, kids, and work.

I have learned how to take care of my health. I am around sick people all the time! I learned to eat healthy, exercise, and take supplements. I’ve had pneumonia twice since I have been a caregiver. I am sure my immune system is super strong, because I am around sick people constantly. At work, and sometimes my kids bring home sickness as well.

I have learned how to better manager my asthma by exercise like jogging, hiking and swimming to keep my lungs strong, and to remember to take my inhaler before exercise.

I have grown in my marriage. I now understand my husband, who he is and why he does what he does. I can predict what he will say and do usually. We’ve been together for a long time. We know how to communicate and work our problems out.

I have grown in my walk with God. He has seen me through a lot, and has been there for me when I didn’t expect it. He has always provided for me when I didn’t expect His providence.

I have learned how to budget, and not to apply for 10 credit cards and use them all to the max limit. I learned that lesson the hard way! I learned how to frugally shop for clothes and food. I have realized I really need to save for retirement.

I have learned how to manage anxiety and depression. I learned to relax and breathe, and to tell myself that I am OK when I’m having a panic attack. I have learned to get outside in the sun and exercise, and seek social interaction with positive people when I am down, and how to utilize mental help through my health care provider.

I have learned a lot of maintaining cars. Oil changes, alignment, fluid levels, snow tires, and so on.

I am still living in the same house, which was my Grandmother’s house. I am still married to the same man, on Valentines Day, we will be together for 17 years.

I have learned a lot about people, that we all are a lot alike, and go through the same things. I am more open, and not shy, with the right people that is.
I’ve learned to recognize manipulation, and so on.

I am getting older and wiser. I have white hairs now to prove this, as I reach my 40’s. My back hurts bad sometimes as well!!!! 😀

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My Favorite Bible verse.

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities–his eternal power and divine nature–have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. Romans 1:20 

I love this verse because I have struggle with my faith, and having doubt but the awe and beauty of creation makes me think that there must be a loving creator. Being in nature brings peace to my soul.

I want some kind of tattoo that encompasses this scripture.

I’ve never seen the wind. I see the effects of the wind, but I’ve never seen the wind. There’s a mystery to it.” ~Billy Graham

To my Uncle on the other side.

When I heard you were slipping away from consciousness. 

When I realized that you were no longer with me on this earth. 

When the reality of you not being here sunk in. 

My heart sunk. It was piercing like a knife.

I never experienced such pain and emotion. 

Everything was going in slow motion. 

You were bright, intelligent, and charismatic. 

I couldn’t believe this was happening. 

Oh your presence was just like magic.

You were full of life, everything was an adventure for you. 

I could not believe that it was true. 

That you slipped away into a different land. 

In a land where you will hold my hand again one day.

You are in a better place. 

But oh how I wish I could see your face!

I didn’t expect you to go so soon.

I still thought you had a little time left on this earth with me. 

But when I want to think of my regrets, I think of how you face must be filled with glee. 

In the presence of Jesus. 

He is the one who truly sets us free.

That day was filled with such sorrow. 

But I know there will always be tomorrow. 

You are not gone.

You are always with me. 

I know you are there.

The spirit life is mysterious. 

You appear to me in so many ways, and I can feel your presence. 

We have never parted in this life, and we will be together in the next life. 

Glad that there is always tomorrow. 

No more pain and sorrow. 

Thank you God for tomorrow. 

Rest in peace Uncle Eddie Spaghetti! <3 How you could never be forgotten. With such character, your legacy will be passed on for generations to come. 

You were always there since day one.

I wouldn’t be able to recall when I first met you because you first saw me when I was born.

You wanted to sing the song “Michelle, my Belle”, by The Beatles to me when I was a wee one.

My first memory of you was your enthusiastic reading of Sesame Street to me when I was only four years old. You have such a charismatic personality and you were so descriptive, as you read that preschool story to me, that it was so interesting.

We went out to eat at a a restaurant called Trail Dust. It had a big huge slide, which is so fun for a young child. I have many memories of my Grandpa there. We danced to country music together at only the four. I absolutely had a blast! You had a fun loving and free spirit, which made you a blast to be with.

Then you moved to another country. I really missed you.

I remember talking to you on the phone and what a deep conversation we had about music at the age of 11. You turned me into Jimi Hendrix, so I listened to him, and I was amazed at his music and the way he played guitar. I still listen to him to this day and I will the rest of my life.

I didn’t see your spirited personality again until I was 17, oh how I missed you!

We caught up on each other’s lives and went shopping in New Mexico. You were such an interesting Uncle with your unique personally, so interesting to talk to, and a social person.

Your Dad, my Grandpa passed away and you were there for me at the funeral. We read Psalm 23 together at Grandpa’s funeral as we said goodbye. At night we went to Grandpa’s plot to have a Manhattan with Grandpa and the police came and kicked us out. It was a small town. I was stressed out and you gave me a cigarette.

You were there when I had my first born daughter. I remember how happy you were and how beautiful you thought she was. When she was 3 years old she called you Uncle head instead of Uncle Ed. We both thought it was hilarious. Then you read a book to her. 💓 History repeats itself. I’m sure she realized how awesome you were.

I was a stay at home Mom and I always had someone to talk to! Which was you. I could always talk to you through Myspace and email.

Time went on and we started working on our family tree together on Ancestry.com. We both were interested in where we came from. We both took a DNA test through 23 & me and found out that we had a close relative your nephew my cousin, that we didn’t know about our whole lives. We both were ecstatic!

I got a phone call from my Mom while they were out of town that you were in the hospital. You had a major heart attack at only the age of 63. I was crushed. I called my Dad and he said things were looking up, so I prayed for you with such hope and faith that God would heal you and give you a second chance at life. Turns out my Dad was just in denial. You didn’t have much brain activity and you had 100% blockage in your heart. My Dad was your twin after all. You two were only a year apart and you shared a room growing up. You were taken off life support and your journey on this earth was over as a human and your spirit and legacy lives on.

I was crushed. I was overcome with sadness, loss and depression.

I took my daughter to the pool. All I could do was sit there, and stare into space, I was so hurt. But you were there with me and I knew it. Someone was playing John Lennon and The Beatles. You listened to their music. The odds of that because usually people play Hip Hop all the time. Then when they played the song yesterday by the Beatles, you presence was so strong I knew exactly where you were at. This is the lyrics to this song:

[Verse 1: Paul McCartney]
Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they’re here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Suddenly
I’m not half the man I used to be
There’s a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday came suddenly

[Chorus: Paul McCartney]
Why she had to go
I don’t know, she wouldn’t say
I said something wrong
Now I long for yesterday


[Verse 2: Paul McCartney]
Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday


[Chorus: Paul McCartney]
Why she had to go
I don’t know, she wouldn’t say
I said something wrong
Now I long for yesterday


[Outro: Paul McCartney]
Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday

What were you trying to tell me? I definitely felt like hiding away, and was in such shock that I did not believe in yesterday, because you journeyed to another plane of existence the day beforehand. 

So there I was in my sadness. I was having a major depressive episode. But I was soon lifted out of this when, we had an awesome family reunion, and meet my adopted cousin for the first time. That really lifted my spirits. He was a God send. So we had a memorial and family reunion where a lot of healing took place. 

God works in mysterious ways. I choose to read scripture at your memorial. Your brother picked Psalms 23 for me to read. The same scripture that we read word for word, when your Dad departed from this earth. 

I found your Bible that you gave me next to an Eagle print that your Mom gave me. Someone you and God told me that you were in a good place. eg

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When you were getting ready to depart in your journey from this life, my Dad saw Eagles soaring above him. Eagles symbolize communicators  to the spirit world, since they sore the highest. 

I know that my Uncle wants me to move on in my grief, and cheer up. To focus on raising my children and doing my best. I’ve gotta be strong. 

Tomorrow is not guaranteed. 

This experience has taught me that there is an afterlife, and a spirit life. 

It has brought me closer to God. 

Rest in peace Uncle Eddie Spaghetti. 

I love you so, and could never ever forget you. 

Love never ends, life never ends. 

Cheers to you in the afterlife 

 

 I wish you were here, but we all have to leave one day. Until we meet again. 

Edward Alan Miller Sunrise February 20th, 1956 Sunset: July 17, 2019 

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