Time…

The echos of the past influences who you are in the today. Do not look far into the past to create today. You are different than before. The past has already come and gone. Today is here and now. Embrace it. The winds of change come through, and create everything anew. As time goes on things change. Change is inevitable. Time doesn’t stop for no one. Time is ever passingThe hand of time is constant. Make the most out of your time on earth, and realize that things change. Do not be passive in this life, because time is not passive, it is aggressive, ever ticking. Do not waste time, because time will keep on going so keep up its the pace. I-may-not-have-everything-I-want-in-life-but-I-am-blessed-enough-to-have-all-that-I-need.-For-this-I-am-grateful.-1-768x768.jpg


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Be Happy for this moment. This moment is your life. _ Omar Khayyam

Reflecting on the past decade, how much have I changed?

A decade ago I was 27 years old. I had a 4 year old and a 2 year old. I was a living a sweet life as a stay at home Mom, and a housewife. I spent my days spending all my time with my family. I would take my babies to the zoo, children’s museum, the park, the library, you name it. I was immensely blessed to be able to do this. They had plenty opportunity to develop and learn. I read to them at night. I miss this. I would work out 5 days a week, eat healthy, and was in tip top shape. Now I do not have time for this!

Now I have a soon to be 14 year old, and an 11 year old. I am working full time, in assisted living as a caregiver. I’m almost done with debt consolidation.

I am learning how to raise a preteen and a teenager, (daughters’). They are very intelligent and strong willed. They need to have a lot of freedom and choice, and keep busy. They are just like me.
This decade, by being a working Mom, and especially as a caregiver, I have grown so much.

I have learned to be more assertive, and not let people walk all over me. My social skills have defiantly improved. I have learned a lot about life by taking care of other people when they are in their last moments of life. I have learned how to deal with grief as well.
I have learned as a working Mom, how to detach from my job, and spend time with my kids. This is not easy. I have learned how to balance married, kids, and work.

I have learned how to take care of my health. I am around sick people all the time! I learned to eat healthy, exercise, and take supplements. I’ve had pneumonia twice since I have been a caregiver. I am sure my immune system is super strong, because I am around sick people constantly. At work, and sometimes my kids bring home sickness as well.

I have learned how to better manager my asthma by exercise like jogging, hiking and swimming to keep my lungs strong, and to remember to take my inhaler before exercise.

I have grown in my marriage. I now understand my husband, who he is and why he does what he does. I can predict what he will say and do usually. We’ve been together for a long time. We know how to communicate and work our problems out.

I have grown in my walk with God. He has seen me through a lot, and has been there for me when I didn’t expect it. He has always provided for me when I didn’t expect His providence.

I have learned how to budget, and not to apply for 10 credit cards and use them all to the max limit. I learned that lesson the hard way! I learned how to frugally shop for clothes and food. I have realized I really need to save for retirement.

I have learned how to manage anxiety and depression. I learned to relax and breathe, and to tell myself that I am OK when I’m having a panic attack. I have learned to get outside in the sun and exercise, and seek social interaction with positive people when I am down, and how to utilize mental help through my health care provider.

I have learned a lot of maintaining cars. Oil changes, alignment, fluid levels, snow tires, and so on.

I am still living in the same house, which was my Grandmother’s house. I am still married to the same man, on Valentines Day, we will be together for 17 years.

I have learned a lot about people, that we all are a lot alike, and go through the same things. I am more open, and not shy, with the right people that is.
I’ve learned to recognize manipulation, and so on.

I am getting older and wiser. I have white hairs now to prove this, as I reach my 40’s. My back hurts bad sometimes as well!!!! 😀

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Today is the last day of this decade.

Goodbye to 2019. We are ushering into 2020. We are in a new decade.

Think back in history to the roaring 20’s. The jazz, nightclubs, and cars. It was the decade where they thought they were getting loose. Economic prosperity until 1929 when the stock crashed and led the new decade into the great depression. It was the end of World War 1, and also prohibition on alcohol also took place.

They were having fun and financially stable, until the great depression.

I picture a night club, and ladies swing dancing with bob cuts. This is not probably accurate, and I probably seen this kind of a scene in a 40’s movie.

My Grandma and Grandpa were born in the late 20’s. My Great Grandparents went through the depression era with a new baby which was my Grandmother. They were business owners and my Great Grandpa was resilient, and created his own electric company.

Time has changed immensely since the 1920’s. We live in a whole different world with technology, school shootings, airplanes, you can order groceries, or almost anything online. It is not as safe to have your children play on the streets.

I wonder what this decade will bring? Change is constant, and somethings remain the same.

We are going to have advances in robots. Will robots take over humans? Will they take our jobs? I am old fashioned. I like communication with people by talking in person, and even writing letters.

Also advances in science to cure disease like Alzheimers, and cancer possibly. I work with a young man whose Dad is a geneticist. Stem cell research will advance.

Cars will be able to drive themselves. That is kinda boring. I would rather do it myself. This makes us lazier? Is it safer this way?

Computer will have processing power of a human brain.

They are talking about putting chips in the brain to stimulate neural activity. I’m not down for that.

What do you think this decade will bring? What advances do you think will happen?

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My goal is to be more adventurous…

Adventure is

I am a planner. BIG TIME.

I am one of those people that have to plan everything for the day. For example today I go to work, (as a caregiver) I am going to do x,y,z, and I have these people to shower.

Or today is my day off, this day is my rest day, (which rest is hard to do when you plan everything and feel unproductive when you are resting),  and the next day I’ll clean the house, and this day I will spend time with the kids.

I plan everything, and I am afraid of change. I am scared to change jobs, I have been at my job for almost 7 years. Change and unpredictability gives me anxiety.

Planning is a great thing, but probably not to this extend.

This is not how life works, is it?

Change is inevitable, you cannot predict what is going to happen next all the time, can you?

I do this (planning to an extreme extent) out of anxiety. I like to be in my comfort zone, and am scared of something happening that I don’t like. I’m afraid of failure, and afraid if I try something new I won’t be able to do it, this is out of perfection. These behaviors cause anxiety, but I realize this and I can work on it now. This is O.C.D. behavior in me that needs to be rewired in my brain.

I need to let go of this illusion of control that I think I have over life. 

No one can control what is going to happen and what other people do.

This world is constantly changing.

I probably do this because I live in a fasted paced city.

I need to let go, and go with the flow. And have confidence in myself.

When I was a young child, I remember not planning, we just go outside and play. Life was an adventure, and everything was new, bright, and fun. We need to remember these days and be more like the young child in us.

Peace, hope, and love.

Cheers to a happier you! <3         40% off Styling tools SBS-001518-1(1)