Whether your married, in a relationship, this advice can pertain to you, to strengthen your bond that you have with your partner. This post isn’t just intended for marriage but I have been married for 16 years, and together with my husband for 17 years. Marriage is work and it has its ups and downs. I have learned a lot in these 17 years and thought I could share.
- COMMUNICATION- Communicating anything, whether it be your feelings, life in general, or the kids, I cannot express the importance of communication! If I need to speak to my husband I tell him “Hey, listen, I really need to talk to you!”. I don’t want to put labels on the sexes but I feel women talk way more than men, or at least I talk way more than my husband. Be blunt in your communication. Also be upfront with your feelings such as: “This is bothering me because, I feel like we need to do x,y,z, because of _______. ” Communication is key. Try to have open communication.
- “I” statements. Yes, because this strongly communicates your feelings. I statements go as follows: “I feel blank (insert emotion), when you blank (insert action), and what should we do about this? This addresses the feelings and then creates plan of action.
- Emotions- Love is emotional, try not to be fully controlled by emotions, this creates a victim mentality when you have issues in your marriage.
- QUALITY TIME- This is huge. I have noticed that the longer you have been married the more comfortable you become, and the need for quality time is greater. You need to keep the marriage strong, and the bond present. Enjoy life together, go places with your spouse and with an open mind, and relax and enjoy. Go on a date according to your spouses choice, and yours, so there’s no conflict of interests. If you don’t spend quality time together your marriage can become stagnate. Remember when you were dating? Go on dates like this, and remember the infatuation you had for each other.
- Forgiveness- You married a human being, and human beings are not perfect! You spouse along with anyone else is going to hurt you! Try not to hold grudges, this is poison for a relationship! instead look for the positives in your spouse. A strong marriage can overcome anything! (I don’t condone abuse of any kind, and zero tolerance of physical abuse of any kind). Minor mental abuse can be resolved with counseling but the abuser needs to be willing to work on their self and change.
- Comparison- Do not compare your spouse to somebody else. You don’t know the person you are comparing your spouse to, as well as your life partner. The grass isn’t greener on the other side. Why waste your time, when you already have spent time on your current relationship. Every relationship has problems and a new one doesn’t guarantee a better one.
Cheers to a strong happy relationship and or marriage!