Tips for a long lasting marriage.

Today my husband and I celebrate 16 year of marriage! We started dating 17 years ago on Valentines Day, and we got married a year later.

Here is what I’ve learned from being married for 16 years.

I’ve learned that communication is key, as long as honesty. They go hand and hand. I know this is cliche, but it is true.

For example, if something is bothering me I tell him. If something he does makes me angry I tell him, and we work it out. I tell him exactly how I am feeling.

As a women I can tell if something is bothering him. I forced it out of him! Then we talk.

In the beginning years of our marriage we would argue a lot, we still do but not much. We have had rough patches, but all couples do.

Men and women are so different as well. I feel like I have learned this well through out the years. Women like to talk about how they are feeling, and men do not like to express emotions, or we have to help them express their emotions. It’s communication.

I’ve read the book “The Five Love Languages”, by Gary Chapman. This book helped a little, my husband and I have different love languages but it helps you express love how your partner hears love the best.

Another thing, women like to talk about how they are feeling, and just talk. Men just like to fix everything. I just tell my husband to listen, I’m “venting”.

Not everyone is the same. I get that. These are my experiences.

We feel like a settled down old couple. We can predict what each other will do next. I know what he is going to do and say. We are comfortable, happy, and settled down.

Here is a picture of our big day:

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This is my Dad walking me down the isle:

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I was only 21.

 

15 thoughts on “Tips for a long lasting marriage.”

  1. Beautifully penned down Madam..!! 😊 A nice read.
    Agree that communication is an important aspect of all relationships, not just the one between a husband and wife.
    Cold stares and saying “Fine” (when it’s actually not) hurts the relationship in unimaginable ways. Communication should always be prompt and unambiguous. And difference of opinions don’t necessarily mean hatred, warranting a scathing reaction.
    Pleasure to meet you..!! Thank you for following me.. 😊

  2. I remember those years of arguments. Eventually I learned to pick my battles and stopped giving into my pride. Although my marriage wouldn’t have had as many rough spots if I had learned my lesson earlier, I’m sure I wouldn’t know my husband as well today.

    I hope you laugh and play with your husband as well as communicate verbally.

  3. “Women like to vent, men like to fix.” So true. I had many frustrating conversations with my wife before I figured that out. When I just shut up and heard her out, she felt better without any advice from me. Good lesson for all men!

  4. Thanks for sharing. I grew up learning that you must grow in love.

    Love, “a perfect bond of union,” is the most important quality in a marriage. (Col. 3:14) Genuine love grows as a loyal couple experience life together, with its joys and challenges. They become even closer friends and cherish each other’s company. Such marriages are nourished, not by just a few great deeds, as portrayed in the media, but by countless smaller acts​—a hug, a kind remark, a thoughtful gesture, a telling smile, or a sincere “how was your day?” These little things can make a big difference in a marriage.

  5. This is such a beautiful post to read! I loved it and also took the tip about communicating freely. May your love live on forever 🙂

  6. Thanks for sharing, I always try to speak up about my feelings to my husband but my husband always shuts me down and get annoyed by it. How do you deal with it when your husband is unable to listen to you?

    1. It takes time to learn each other. For me I’m blunt and say I need to talk to you! Listen. But I’m wondering if this is a thing with men because with my husband and even past boyfriends I see myself saying to them a lot “did you hear what I said?” Or “are you listening .” It just takes a long time to know each other so well. No marriage is perfect and there’s always problems. But the longer you are married, the easier communication is because you know each other so well. Men are so different. Us women like to talk about our feelings and men don’t, they just look to fix things like what can I do about this? You’ll be surprised as time goes by how things work out. Marriage takes work but it’s worth it.

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