February 20th, my Uncle Ed would of been 64 this year. I’ve mentioned before, my Uncle Ed passed away this summer of a sudden heart attack. It was sudden so we were in shock. Grief is difficult. I am still in the denial stage, thinking to myself “I can’t believe he’s gone.”
The 7 stages of grief are:
SHOCK & DENIAL-
PAIN & GUILT- …
ANGER & BARGAINING- …
“DEPRESSION”, REFLECTION, LONELINESS- …
RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH- …
ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
I am working through my grief and coming into acceptance. This is a YouTube video of my Uncle. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enmQ9kEOVKI
“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” ~Dolly Parton
This reminds me that nothing in life comes easy, but you have to work for it. Not to give up but go through tough times, and to remain strong. To preserve and keep going. This quote reminds of the saying that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
This also reminds me that anything in this world that you work for will in fact not be easy, but you have to put in time and effort. It is worth it to put up with the suffering and hardship, to reach the end of the rainbow, your goal.
“Nothing in this world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty. No kind of life is worth leading if it is always an easy life. I know that your life is hard; I know that your work is hard; and hardest of all for those of you who have the highest trained consciences, and who therefore feel always how much you ought to do. I know your work is hard, and that is why I congratulate you with all my heart. I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.”
“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” ~William Shakespeare
It’s OK to love all, by being respectful, and seeing the good in people, but you cannot trust everyone. Trust needs to be earned. Be very careful who you trust, so that you don’t get mistreated, and taken advantage of. This is a great boundary to have. This helps you become assertive, and effective, so that no one takes advantage of you.
Do no harm to no one, which adds fuel to the fire, and by doing harm, you are going down to a low level in life.
Remember this quote, and practice. This will help you deal with difficult people, and be your best without being emotionally unstable, and mentally stable.
March 20th of this year, marks 7 years that I have been a working Mom. I was also fortunate enough to be a stay at home Mom for 7 years. What have I learned being from being a stay at home Mom, and a working Mom, both for 7 years?
I was very blessed to be home with my kids, to watch them grow and hit all their milestones. When I was at home with my kids, we were so close. I would read to them every night, and take them to the park. I got to play with my kids. I helped them grow and learn. I loved how close we were.
When the debt started piling up, I had to go back to work. I felt depressed not being around my kids as much, since we were so close. My kids started acting up because they were used to having Mommy at home all the time. I have to learn the skill of managing my time. I learned to make time just for them so that they would not act up. I learned how to detach from the workplace so that I can focus something more important, my family!
I do not regret going back to work. I will have money to buy them their first car, and to greater their education after high school. I will be able to pay for the College education, and give them a better life.
This post is defiantly not to say being a stay at home Mom or working Mom is better. But to do what best works for your family.
I miss being a stay at home Mom, and not having the stress of everyday working life. It is not easy. My job is physically demanding and wears me out! I take care of the elderly, at least 15 residents. I have to transfer them, toilet them and bathe them. It is very tiring. I have learned to take care of my health so that I do not get sick easily, since I am around sickness all the time working in healthcare. I have learned to exercise and eat right so that I have energy for my kids!
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition”.
We all know Steve Jobs was a genius, but this quote shows that he also had great insight about self esteem.
This is a great reminder to stay true to yourself, and do not try to be a people pleaser, trying to get people to like you for someone that you are not.
You are unique. You have a right to express your options and thoughts. You will leave a mark on this world by being yourself just the way you are. Do not be ashamed of yourself. Not everyone will like you, and that is OK. You will be more respected if you are yourself, people can tell if you are being fake and will not respect you. If you respect yourself, people will respect you. Stand up for your identity, and be assertive.
Take time for yourself, to find your inner voice, do not let the busyness of this world drain your voice. Recharge, and give your best.
Never change for someone else.
Live your best life now, not someone else’s, like Steve Jobs mentions. Live your life, not someone else’s. There is great strength in independence. Freedom from not worrying about what others think. Do not let this hold you back.
A couple was arrested for running a brothel in their own home. This is in Denver, near me. This is absolutely disgusting, but it reflects what a crisis this is in our world, even within our own city limits. I could just be sick. They had girls from China in their house, and their neighbor saw many men come and go in and out of the house dressed up in suits.
I wasn’t even away of this issue until 10 years ago, when my church educated me. Since then I have donated to the sex trafficking problem. This disturbs my soul so bad, and give me great anxiety. You can donate here, let’s end this now.
Trigger warning. This may be disturbing to certain people. Sensitive topic discussed.
I received an email from my kids school district, that 5 kids in the school district ended this life, mostly because of bullying, and as young as a 7th grader.
I keep hearing stories like this. My neighbor told me her friends daughter ended her life because of bullying.
This is a disturbing crisis. These kids had so much more of life to live. So much ahead of them.
Where are we failing them? Where are we going wrong? There needs to be more mental health support. We need to better teach our children coping mechanisms. It’s time to remember how we viewed the world when we were that young, and teach age appropriate ways to deal with others negative opinions and influences. We need to build strong confidence within our youth. Encourage the good in them, their strengths and their talents.
I need to teach my children to change their inner dialog to positivity, and teach them how to cope, and not let others effect them, and to keep going no matter what. To reach within themselves and find inner strength.
We live in a fast paced technological driven world. My kids are on electronics too often, it’s driving me insane, and what does this teach them?
It is important to teach our children to not let others bother them and to find confidence, and resilience within themselves.
It doesn’t matter what their peers think.
They are so young, and sensitive. They can be easily influenced. I remember being this young. But it doesn’t matter what your classmates think. Within a few years, you will never see these people again.