Domestic violence, get help and get out!

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This boils my blood. I can’t stand to know that this is happening. I keep seeing this among friends and people I know. I makes me sick! What a bunch of cowards hitting someone that is weaker than they are. Their boyfriend’s are so controlling, they have their girlfriends even leave work when they are not off the clock yet. This makes me sick to my stomach that a “man”, would hit a woman that is weaker than him because he has issues with himself. How safe is a person who is a victim of domestic violence? It worries me. I feel sorry for the ladies that have babies with these men. They are not trapped but they definitely feel trapped. I cannot imagine what an awful feeling that must be, and I am very empathetic because I could not imagine what how awful, and empty their lives must be. Sounds depressing.
I have two daughters so I need to teach them to never get trapped into this psychological need to be with a man that treats them wrong or to ever put up with this. I think all women should carry pepper spray, or mace, a taser, and get a conceal carry. Especially in a big city.
I personally have not been a victim of domestic violence. I don’t know 💯 what they are going through. I am not trying to make myself feel better or sound good or anything. I really have someone in my life that I need to try my best to help. I know people sometimes cannot be helped if they don’t want to be helped.
I think I might start by calling The Hotline
National Domestic Violence Hotline Get Help Today 1-800-799-7233. They also have battered women’s shelters.

If you are a victim of domestic violence I strongly encourage you to call the hotline. You are not trapped, no one has any right to control you or put their hands on you. You deserve a much better life!
I know a few ladies that have gotten out of this situations. I commented them for getting out of something so difficult. They are strong and I am so happy for them.

15 thoughts on “Domestic violence, get help and get out!”

  1. I’m behind you on this one. I never saw my dad touch my mum though their marriage didn’t work out (they divorced before I even remember seeing them together as a couple at home). This makes me rise up against any form of violence and injustice on women, children or helpless folks. I don’t have much to give them but I believe someday I will. But till then, I’m going to keep shouting to them, you’re a fighter not a prisoner. You’re a free person. Don’t let anyone cage you because you love them or you’re afraid to lose them.

    I love how you write. I’m going to continue following your work and hope to learn how to better help people with social crises as well as their spiritual life as well. Thanks, J

  2. Some women face the choice of either staying in their relationship or risking death for themselves and their children. Yes it really is that stark. I never ever tell women to leave. First move is to put together an escape plan. I did but mine took decades. Thankfully I am finally out and miraculously I have been able to teach again and start freelance writing. My youngsters are at university. We live in a tiny flat which just happens to be next to a police station but I am so grateful. The women I have met through my experience have all been wonderful caring and intelligent. You often don’t know you are withbone of these characters until it is way to late. There is an interesting book called Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancoft, which gives real insight into the way these men operate.

    1. Thank you so much I am trying to help a Co worker but you have given me ideas!! Thank you so much for commenting. I felt lost trying to help her I’ll talk to her about an escape plan and get her that book.

      1. These situations can be extremely dangerous. Leaving is a very dangerous time for women and their children leaving abusive relationships. Please always put safety first. If she can- find a good counsellor, who understands narcissistic abuse to support her, I can say from experience it makes a massive difference. Physical abuse is just part of it. Most of the abuse is likely mental and emotional. Investigating narcissistic abuse on You Tube really helped me. The book is available for free download as a pdf. Every situation is different. For me the most important thing initially was to feel heard and believed. I had a couple of friends who did that for me but mostly people will tend to think it really could not have been that bad and there is an awful lot of victim blaming out there.
        For me healing has been a prolonged process. Others sometimes bounce back quicker. Also remember victims of abuse return to their abuser, something like an average of seven times. I had a couple of friends who helped me. Just having a safe place to go for a coffee and warm drink made a huge difference in my life. Gradually she will have to build herself back up. I went to an art therapy class for victims of domestic violence for a while. It really helped. We were given material about domestic violence, explaining things like power and control, which is what domestic violence is really about. I had to hold the piece of paper for a woman, who was too traumatised even to hold it. A good friend is the best asset any woman in a domestic violence can have but everything has to come from us, in the end. My friend would listen, sympathise and even laugh with me. She didn’t tell me what to do, I had had quite enough of somebody trying to dictate every aspect of my life. One memory I have is of running out of a particular household item, just after he had left and becoming absolutely terrified. It took a few minutes for me to remember he was not there, to berate me any more. For me there is a scene in the film Sleeping With The Enemy, where she fearfully sorts out the jars on her shelves to ensure all the labels face forwards, before he returns home, which comes closest to explaining the reality of living with a narcissistic abuser.

      2. Quote from Lundy Bancroft:”Your abusive partner does not have a problem with his anger. He has a problem with your anger. One of the basic human rights, he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him, no matter how badly he treats you, he believes your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage, is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you, as will happen with any abused woman from time to time – he is likely to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you, to prove what an irrational woman you are. Abuse can make you feel straight-jacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger such as depression. nightmares, emotional numbing

        1. Thank you for sharing I’ll show my friend. That is great input that he has a problem with your anger not his own. I feel horrible for people in these kinds of relationships. They are so trapped

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